On the Roof

I once wrote that I'd climb the Eiffel Tower to be met by a thousand snakes if I knew at the end, you'd be there.

Well, in our first meeting of the second round of "us," you took me to the roof of your building. 5 stories high. A beautiful view of the city. I didn't even ask. Didn't protest. Didn't resist. Sure, I'm terrified of heights.

But, you were there. I would walk anywhere with you. No, it wasn't a towering monument filled with snakes, but in retrospect, it should have scared the hell out of me.

You give me comfort and peace in a way no one else has.

Will I walk the stairs and climb onto the roof and sit for an hour and talk with you while we see the city? YES!

And I will feel calm, confident, in control, at peace.

Because you are there. Because with you, I'm the best me.

With you, I do the things my heart wants... I live the life I've dreamed of living.

Just your presence... is enough.

We were on the roof... sharing our worlds.

I've never, ever been happier.

Don't Marry Your Best Friend

A very common piece of advice young people are given is that they should "marry their best friend."

Don't fucking do it.

The sentiment, the intention, is nice. I mean, of course you want to be able to get along with the person who you've agreed to spend ALL of your life with.

BUT.

Does that person also light your soul on fire?

Sure, your best friend is there when you need them most … and they've seen the ugly parts of you and are still around.

BUT.

Your spouse will be there EVERY FUCKING DAY.

FOREVER.

So, yes, sparks die out.

But.

Have you ever touched the sun?

Have you ever met someone that made it feel like you were touching the sun...and that when you did, you didn't burn up or get absorbed, you only became brighter?

THAT.

Does your best friend do that?

No?

The person who lights your soul on fire.

THAT.

That is who you should marry/partner/commit to.

Because one day, that best friend will piss you off or miss something or fuck something up.

And … well, sure, they were there for you all that time. But, you don't have some memory of a soul on fire. You can't look into their eyes and see a flame ignite. Because it was never there.

Choose the sun.

The sun is a flame... a heat... that sustains life.

That person that you'd fuck in the laundry room while your kids are watching another PBS show? YEAH. THAT IS LIFE.

That's the essence of life.

Your best friend is reliable, yes. They show up, yes. And maybe, just maybe, the sun for you is not always there...

But … that warmth, that heat, that passion... hell, even the memory of that passion...that's sustaining...it's life-giving.

Sure, you need a best friend.

But maybe not in your house...or as your permanent life partner.

Life may not be as predictable when you marry the Sun...but it will be warmer, happier, more emotional, more complete.

Keep your best friend.

Marry the fire.