My Fault

It's my fault.

I let it happen.

I let you in.

I showed you all of me.

ALL of me.

Like I'd never done before.

You never asked, never pushed.

That's how I knew you were safe.

I opened it all.

You held me close.

It's my fault.

I made those choices.

I chose to keep everyone out.

I chose to let you in.

I chose to respond the way I did.

It's my fault.

I kept it close for so long.

Pushed it down.

And with you, it felt ok

All of it.

All of it.

All at once

A lifetime in six hours

Everything.

Every single thing.

In just six weeks.

it was all too much.

All of it.

Like a firehose

And I couldn't turn it off, couldn't stop

It felt so good to let it out

Felt so incredible

So amazing that I couldn't see

didn't notice

You weren't ready for all of that

You were so kind. Too kind.

And I felt safe.

It's my fault

It's my fault.

I'm the one who got to this point

I'm the one who pushed it down

I'm the one who couldn't stop

The release was amazing

Is still amazing

And I want to say this:

Thank you.

You may never know how much you mean to me.

What your kindness, your heart, what it means

Even now

Without that release, I'd be dead inside

Because of you, I'm alive.

I know it's my fault

That we're not together

You should know you always have a home with me

If you ever want it, no matter what, no questions asked