Asleep

I was asleep when you called. When you called after sending those two texts. I missed the texts, too.

I was asleep.

My phone on my desk, in the other room.

For so long, I'd get up each morning and hope I'd see a text from you.

Finally, I'd given up. Realizing I'd probably never hear from you again. We MIGHT run into each other, but you certainly weren't going to reach out … and, I didn't know how to.

So, I woke up and saw a missed call from you. And two texts.

All just after midnight.

A mistake, I figured.

You'd been drinking and did something crazy and you were hoping I wouldn't notice or respond.

Nine months.

Nine months since you last messaged me. Nine months since I'd stood in your kitchen.

The last message you sent me made it clear … and I respected that. You weren't mean about it, just clear and direct.

And I love you... and so … I respected your wishes, let you move on.

Two texts and one call and … well, I didn't say anything or respond because, well, because of how it ended before and because if it was a mistake I didn't want to compound it.

And then... another text from you.

And I responded. And you responded.

And for an hour, we talked. Just like we had before.

It was so nice to hear from you … to hear about you … to know what you've been doing and what you will be doing.

After our time texting, I took a shower and went to bed.

I slept harder than I've slept in months.

Yesterday, another brief text exchange.

And last night, I was asleep before 11 and fell into a deep, relaxing, incredible rest.

YES... I want all of you, still.

But... I am thrilled to hear from you … I'm delighted to be in your life, your world in this small way.

If that's all you ever want, I'll be ok.

I'll be more than ok.

You calm me in a way no one ever has.

I was asleep when you texted me... and then called me.

And after we finally talked, I went to sleep.

I don't know how to describe the tremendous release hearing from you gave me.

This sounds... well, it is ..

But, why not? Everything else was … well, strange.

You made me feel... in all the ways.

And, hearing from you... you calmed my soul.

And I was asleep.