99

So, there's this.

If … if a friend of mine came to me and described the situation … from HER perspective...

Here's what I would say:

I would say -- yes, he IS amazing. I'm sure. Yes, he CAN be more amazing.

But.  99 times out of 100 this is NOT going to turn out well. It's just not.

You two are great now. You MIGHT be great in some distant future.

And the path there... well, if you're up for a lot of pain and hurt and disruption and things that are unsettling, ok. But even then, the likely outcome is not great.

So. I'd let go now. Before you get too deep. Before it ends up hurting both of you too badly.

Yes, it will hurt. And yes, he will hurt.

But... one very real possibility is that being in your world, in your orbit, distracts him. Keeps him from doing what needs to be done. And then you're a year or two years in and he hasn't dealt with it and now you are or it's not happening or it's all going bad.

If you let him go, he'll want to feel like he did with you.

He'll have a reason to do this.

And so, in a year or two years when you see him again... maybe he'll look at you and be this amazing man you can see inside.

And maybe then you'll still have these feelings for him.

Sure, there's a tiny chance...maybe better than 1%, that he'll do all of this WHILE you two  are together.

But, probably not.

So, the only question is... a little bit of pain now or a world of hurt later?

Let him go. You love him. He needs you to let him go so he can finish.

I write this to say: I understand. I do.

It hurts more than anything ever has... and I've had a lot happen and I've done a lot of stupid things.

But, she was right. For her. And, well, for me.

It only makes me love her more.

The only (and best) thank you I can give to her is to be that man...the one she saw.

And I will.